The worst jobs in sports

Heisman Trophy Winner - Most players enter the NFL full of promise. Former Heisman trophy winners enter the league just hoping they don't end up like O.J. or ? even worse ? Eric Crouch. Just look at Matt Leinart. He was once cut in favor of Derek Anderson (Derek Anderson!) and is now a backup in Oakland, but he's arguably had an above average pro career for a post-1985 Heisman winner. The extended stiff arm on the Heisman trophy should really have its palm facing upwards as if to ask, "Any spare change? I washed out of the NFL, and the car dealership I tried to open back in my old college town went bust. Nobody wants to catch a pass or buy a Honda from me."

Monday Night Football yellow line guy - You've got to feel sorry for this poor dude. He puts that beautiful and convenient first-down line on the screen for all of us watching at home, and he does a hell of a good job. Yet every time there's a close call on whether a spot is good enough for a new set of downs, those jackasses in the announce booth always say: Remember, this yellow line is not official ? like he just arbitrarily slapped it up there wherever he felt like putting it. Seriously, have you ever seen this guy's yellow line be anything other than a 100% accurate? Still, Joe Buck and Al Michaels won't show him even the slightest bit of respect. Some day he'll snap and put the yellow line on Troy Aikman's face. That'll teach 'em! Well, that and the baseball bat he brings to work on the same day will teach 'em!

Dugout cleaner - The next time you watch a baseball game, pay attention to the players in the dugout. They're great at putting things in their mouths, but they're physically incapable of keeping them there. Sunflower seeds, tobacco juice, swishes of Gatorade ? they all get spat back onto the dugout floor until they form a thick sludge of disgustingness. By the bottom of the ninth inning, everyone's spikes-deep in a goo so foul that it's right on the verge of becoming a sentient being and attacking the clubhouse, and it's someone's job to clean it up. Did you get it all clean, guy? Great! Savor this moment. There are only 80 more home games this season!

Pro wrestling jobber - The WWE may call all of its wrestlers superstars, but some guys are very clearly the opposite of stars. The jobbers are the poor saps who have to walk to the ring and get their asses handed to them by the big names. They spend their lives with their heads wedged into some sweaty guy's armpit, just waiting to be suplexed or DDT-ed through a table. One false move during the fake fighting and they could end up with a serious injury or worse still, trapped under one of Ric Flair's breasts. Probably not what they were hoping for when they did those 47 cycles of steroids; losing every night isn't worth even a little bacne.

Baseball card shop owner - When he opened his shop back in '88, this guy had visions of riding the sports card craze to a new mansion and someday trading his Alvaro Espinoza rookie card for an Italian sports car. Twenty-plus years later he's still in the same seedy strip mall, still wearing the same mustard-stained t-shirt, and still watching the same 14-inch TV behind the counter. He's also grumbling about how none of those damn kids come in anymore now that they've got their Pokemons and their Razor Scooters and their sexting. Don't feel totally bad for him, though. Those sealed cases of '91 Upper Deck that he used to refer to as My Retirement Fund will provide quite a bit of warmth when he has to burn them after the gas company shuts off his heat, which should be happening sometime in the next couple of months.

Fantasy league commissioner - The one saving grace for most of the jobs on this list is that at least you get paid. This poor sap can't even console himself with $8 an hour. Being a fantasy league commissioner is literally a thankless task. Not a single person has ever said "Thanks, man," to their fantasy commissioner ? and is it ever a task. First you've got to round up 11 of your idiot friends and get them to sign up for the league, then you've got to hound them for their $50 entry fee and listen to them ***** and moan about the scoring rules and the draft pick that Yahoo randomly assigned them. That's just before the season, too! Things get even worse when the games start. You're flooded with emails that read like Supreme Court briefs on why trades aren't fair, you're asked to fix the roster of the one guy who just stopped logging into the league page after starting out 0-3, and you're probably not going to make the playoffs. One season of this and you can see why Bud Selig just quit trying 15 years ago.

Eli Manning - Sometimes the worst jobs seem glamorous to outside observers. Come on, Eli Manning? He's a starting quarterback in New York! But one look at Eli's face ? which is always clearly telegraphing that he's less than 10 seconds away from weeping ? and you'll know better. This guy's got more Super Bowl rings than his big brother, but everyone treats him like the local half-wit who managed to win a hundred bucks on a scratch-off lottery ticket. Being Eli is literally a dirty job, too. Thanksgiving dinner at the Manning house and the dog poops on the rug. Who's cleaning it up? Peyton? Archie? Cooper? Whatever-Mrs.-Manning's-first-name-is? Hardly. You know Eli's the one putting down his stuffing and picking up a bottle of Carpet Science. No wonder he always looks so
sad.

Source: http://megomuseum.com/community/showthread.php?79086-The-worst-jobs-in-sports&goto=newpost

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